What is this way the mouth works? That our guttural grunts can be shaped so finely and minutely -- the most dangerous power, falsely confident expression, clumsy expression, that destruction. And writing, one step further out on the balance beam of illusion. The illusion: that anyone, myself included, might understand my motivations or standpoint with an arbitrary word or two arranged to trigger mental recognition.
So we possess this conscious neural network that lets us develop unbelievably complex sounds and meaning attachments and rules for ways that meaning may be attached and this has us further believing that our mind works for us, for our souls and empathy. That we can understand each other and our being. So communication is secondary -- the true illusion of language is that I can express to you somewhat accurately how I feel, where I stand and exist in my body, what I think, what I believe and you can understand, that you may even empathize. But truly language is something else, a function of consciousness and not the body at all. A way of ordering experience and existence, to compartmentalize sensation, to direct the barrage. I am telling myself what to believe as well, acting. This mask that's evolved makes us more eerily alone than any other animal. More susceptible to self-delusion and starkly aware of our silent desires to do damage to one another -- those things have to be bulkily and clumsily dragged out of the body with words and they stand in harsh relief, bulbous and awkward in the middle of the room. We could not be more vulnerable to each other than when we all speak the same nuanced version of any language.
How does your tongue, palette and throat even begin?
If we all stumble and try to pick up pieces of learned behavior here and there, make a face -- its a leap of faith that we won't look at one another and point out the poor parts, the existence of a mask at all. That we will see the porcelain perfection we intend, that a fleshy human mask might even poke through and be sealed and animal and solid in the eyes of those who look at us. Either to believe and feign belief that the mask of language is the face, or that their need to be no mask at all.
