"... Tribal customs are less strong here. That puts much more pressure on any given individual in relationship to what his identity is going to be. He has to choose, alone. I can't emphasize how strongly in relationship to what I personally know about Europe, how much more - thought we're supposed to be the great conformists - how much more, at least in this kind of enterprise, one's on one's own. And now, without being romantic, there's a terrible human price to pay for it. I mean, one has to be a 'hero' in a way, or not exist at all, given such conditions. There's not a society to pick us up and incorporate us..."
Consistently self-defined self-identity, the ultimate taxation on the acceptance and certainty of rhythmic life. My adolescent struggle may be this, a fractured and alienated familial role that leaves no obvious life choices, no correct choice. Its convenient, or unavoidable, that I believe it to be a relatively thorough representation -- that is there in many ways no more "correct" choice than another. Each step is forcefully large and responsible if all options present themselves. It seems strange to be without ideal or expectation at all: that the ideals set up for me were somewhat pathological, flimsy, easily broken, without merit.
